It All Started With Nettles
by MeadowHayle
Summary: Being forced to go on a mission with Hermione Granger to find a cure for a sickness, Severus Snape finds out something quite unexpected about his future. Adventure and Time Turner story. HG/SS
1. the adventure

I don't own Harry Potter. This is my first HG/SS fanfic. So I guess it's going to be a little bit weird, but anyway...

* * *

„I don't understand why I'm not good enough!" Hermione Granger said as she walked next to her ex-potions teacher.

She had studied potions for a few years now and was ready to make an apprenticeship and searched for a willing professor.

Of course she could have taken anyone, but who was more perfect for the job than her ex-potions teacher Severus Snape? He owed her. **Much.**

Snape sighed.

"Miss Granger. I know that you are far too stubborn to give up, but you'll just have to live with my decision. You'll not become my apprentice. That's my last word."

With that Snape turned around the next corner and disappeared, while Hermione stood in the empty hallway and ground her teeth.

She had been so sure he would allow her to work with him, but as it seemed he would never change his mind. It just wasn't fair.

She had brought him back to life and still he tried to avoid her.

Stupid old git!

* * *

Apparently Hermione didn't need to worry, because one week later she got a letter from Minerva, which informed her that Hogwarts needed her help.

Frowning Hermione picked up her cloak and made her way to Hogwarts.

When she arrived in the headmistress's office she noticed that Professor Snape was also there. _Why was he here? It must be something quite important. _

"Ah, Hermione, good to see you. Have a seat, please." Minerva said when she saw her favourite student.

"Well, I guess you both wonder why exactly you are here, don't you?" The headmistress started and looked at Hermione and Snape.

Hermione nodded. Snape just rolled his eyes.

Minerva turned to Hermione.

"Dear, you have to know that there is a bad epidemic in Hogwarts. There are a lot of pupils who are infected already. Currently Professor Snape is working on a cure for the sickness, but he hasn't much time and I think he needs help so we can help our pupils faster. And that is the reason I invited you, Hermione. I want you to work with Professor Snape. Of course you'll get paid so you won't do this for nothing. Do you have any questions?"

Hermione shook her head.

"So you'll do it?" Minerva asked.

"Yes, of course." Hermione replied and looked at Snape just to see him glaring back at her.

* * *

"No, Minerva. You can't really mean that!" Severus Snape said after Hermione had left.

"Of course I mean that, Severus. I bet you and Hermione will find a way to brew the right potion."

"Yes, but why do I have to work with her?"

"Severus, you know she is the best and she has studied potions already. She is currently searching for a place to make her apprenticeship. And I thought, if you work well together, you could ask her to become your apprentice. Wouldn't that be nice?" Minerva asked smiling.

Snapes face fell.

"Are you serious? She? The little know-it-all?"

"Yes, Severus, Hermione Granger."

Minerva stood up.

"But-"

"If you would be so kind and leave me alone now, I have a meeting in a few minutes." The headmistress said and Snape left the room.

_She was so going to regret that._

_

* * *

_

"Hello, Professor Snape." Hermione Granger said as she came into his potion lab.

Snape snored in response.

He was currently brewing a potion- another cure- which he hoped would have a better affect on the pupils than the last one.

"What do you want here?" He asked, apparently annoyed.

"Well, maybe Minerva has told you tha-" Hermione started.

"-I know that. But it is impossible to create a potion in time. My researches show that we need a very special plant for this potion. The problem is that the plant needs seven years to grow. So we need time, we don't have. And now, Miss Granger, tell me how you are going to solve the problem. "

Hermione frowned and thought about it for a while.

"I have no idea Professor, but I bet we'll find a way. Maybe we should start with searching for the other ingredients."

Snape frowned but nodded.

"I made a list and most ingredients are here already, but there are two missing. The plant I told you about and nettles."

Hermione laughed.

"**Nettles**? But you can get them anywhere."

"No, Miss Granger. We need nettles which are illuminated by moonlight every night and grow next to daisies and roses." Snape answered snappish.

"Oh." Hermione bit her lip. That was difficult. Such nettles were very rare, but she thought she had read about them somewhere. They seemed familiar...

Suddenly she had an idea.

"I know where to get them! I saw it once in TV. There was a reportage about New Zealand. They flew over it with a helicopter and there was a field full of roses and daisies. Maybe we'll find it there."

Snape shook his head.

"If you aren't sure we shouldn't go. It could take us hours to find those fields. It would be too risky."

"Well, it's certainly better than staying here and trying to make a similar potion which isn't that helpful." Hermione snapped.

Snape glared at her.

"Okay, let's try it. We don't have much time."

Hermione smiled in response and held out her hand for him to take.

At first he hesitated, but then took her hand with a sigh and suddenly the room was empty.

* * *

Bam. Away. I hope you liked it. BTW I love reviews.^^


	2. the nettles

**The Nettles**

* * *

"I knew it!" Hermione exclaimed. She stood on a hill to have a better view over the land.

At first Snape had been pissed, because she hadn't apparated straight to the field with the flowers, but after thirty minutes they finally found a meadow with nettles, roses and daisies.

"Good job. Now gather them. We don't have all day." Snape said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Thank you, sir. I'll do that." Hermione answered and smiled at him.

Of course she had noticed the compliment.

Never in all the years she had known him, had he ever said something nice to her.

_Maybe he has changed.

* * *

_

After gathering as many nettles as her bag could carry, she made her way back to the potions master, who examined a strange looking flower.

"I have them, sir." Hermione said, proudly holding her bag with both hand.

Snape looked up at her and nodded.

"Good, let's not waste time. The fresher they are the better."

He took her hand and... nothing happened.

"Something's wrong." Snape murmured and tried again.

"Maybe this area is some kind of a dead spot... just magical." Hermione suggested.

"Fuck." Snape said and ran his hand through his hair. "I knew something like this would happen."

"Really?" Hermione asked and looked at him frowning.

"Do I look like Trelawney? Of course not, but I knew you weren't good for the mission. I should have hexed you the first time I saw you."

Hermione was angry now. She couldn't have known it was a dead spot. How could he dare blame her for that?

"It's not my fault we are stuck here!"

"Of course it is. It was your idea in the first way." Snape answered and started to walk away.

"And what are you doing know? Trying to avoid me? That's not a very intelligent way!" Hermione shouted and ran after him.

"No, Miss Granger. Just for your information, I'm trying to walk out of this "Dead spot" or how you call it." Snape answered and looked at her angrily.

Just in this moment it started to rain.

The first drops fell and wetted the earth.

Hermione took a deep breath.

"Okay, let's stop this arguing. It won't help us." She said calmly and looked up to the sky.

She always took rain for a sign to change something.

And this time it changed her mood and suddenly she smiled.

While Snape walked through the rain rather slowly, Hermione opened her arms and went in circles.

She could fell her hair starting to curl and the rain made her clothes so wet they clung to her skin.

Nothing mattered in this moment.

_It was just her and the rain._

Snape frowned as he saw her so freely dancing in the rain. He was confused, but also fascinated, because she looked absolutely stunning with the water drops on her skin and her hair all curly. Though of course it had been curly before, just not like this.

He quickly shook this thought out of his head and concentrated on the way in front of him.

It was getting dark soon and they needed somewhere to stay, but at the moment there was nothing but fields and forest.

The rain stopped falling and Hermione started walking normal again. To keep up with Snape she ran a few meters until she reached him.

He said nothing just looked at her and they both continued their walk in silence.

* * *

Snape hadn't known that Hermione Granger was able to shut her mouth for such a long time.

The rain had started falling again and by now they were both dripping wet and starved.

The only time Hermione opened her mouth was when she saw a little house near the forest. It looked dark and ruinous and very small. But it would be enough for one night.

"Professor, it's getting dark. Maybe we could stay in the house over there. It looks uninhabited." She pointed to it.

Snape nodded. "Okay. But we have to stand up early, so we get out of this non-magical-area." He said and they made their way towards the house.

* * *

The inside of the house was... dirty and not very comfortable.

There were only a room which looked a little bit like a kitchen, a bed/living room with a mattress on the ground and a bathroom with a broken washbasin.

Luckily for them the toilet still worked, as well as the shower.

"God, I so need to take a bath now." Hermione moaned and went straight for the bathroom.

Snape however looked at the mess before him and raised his wand to hex it away.

But of course nothing happened and he cursed himself for not checking if his wand worked.

That meant they only had this little mattress to sleep on. Great.

So no sleep tonight for him at all.

_Wasn't that a fair world?_

As he heard Hermione curse he realized that she must have discovered the lack of magic.

A few minutes later she came out, dressed in nothing but her still wet cloak. The water in her hair dripped on the floor and she looked angry- very angry.

"My wand doesn't work."She stated.

"I know." Snape sighed and tried not to think about her being naked under this cloak.

"Maybe I can make a fire so we can dry our clothes." He suggested and looked at the fireplace.

Hermione nodded and he went to work.

* * *

tada.


	3. the night

**The Night **

* * *

When Hermione's hair was nearly dry again, she sat down on the mattress and groaned.

"I'm hungry." She said to Snape, who was sitting next to her.

"Then go get something. Though I doubt that you'll find something here." He answered.

Hermione stood up and looked around the house. To her surprise she actually found something eatable.

Canned ravioli and vodka.

She even found a fork.

Better than nothing.

When she sat back down on the mattress she glanced at Snape.

He had taken off his coat and was now dressed in black jeans and a black shirt, which showed his muscular figure.

At the moment he was reading a book, which he probably found in this mess.

After reminding herself that this man was still her stupid old potions professor, she turned away from him and took a first bite.

It tasted okay, a little bit old but okay.

"Ravioli and vodka?" Snape asked and looked up from his book.

Hermione shrugged. "Was the only thing I found."

Snape raised an eyebrow and put away the book.

"Would you mind if I took a sip?" He asked pointing at the bottle.

Hermione handed it to him and watched him, while he examined it.

"Do you want to eat something too?" She offered him the can.

Snape frowned.

"I'm sorry. There isn't another fork. But I can clean it with water if you want to." Hermione said and started to stand up.

"No, that won't be necessary. I believe you not to have any diseases." He answered and took the can from her hands.

Again examining the content before eating it.

"Tastes okay, I guess."

Hermione nodded.

"May I have the bottle please?" She asked.

"Of course." Snape answered. Somehow they knew they would end up totally drunk.

* * *

When Snape woke up, he found it hard to breathe. It felt like something was lying on his lungs and as he opened his eyes he knew he was right.

Hermione Granger's head lay on his chest, which was still covered by the black shirt he always wore under his robes. Thank Merlin for that.

Because they surely had drunk too much yesterday evening. It was a wonder they were both fully clothed. Well, if you could call Hermione in only her cloak fully dressed.

His ex-student however was still asleep and snuggled even deeper into his chest as he tried to stand up.

Snape sighed. That was definitely not helping.

"Miss Granger." He whispered and slowly shook her.

"Just five minutes longer." She mumbled and turned around. Now she was lying in his lap. Just great!

"Miss Granger, please you have to stand up." He said.

In response Hermione turned her head and Snape wondered if she felt the bulge underneath her.

After all her moving his morning wood had grown drastically.

He let out a warning growl.

"Miss Granger, if you don't stand up right now, you'll lose your apprenticeship before it even started!"

Hermione startled and was up immediately.

"Finally." Snape murmured and stood up quickly to put on his cloak. After all they still had to get out of here **and** he had to hide his...well.

"We should go soon, so start getting ready." He said and went out of the house for a walk.

* * *

"Professor, did you know that you don't snore?" Hermione asked while they walked.

"Of course, I don't. Why would you think that?" He answered glaring at her.

"Um...well..." Hermione searched for the right words.

"Spare me you comment, Miss Grang- Did you feel that?" He asked and stopped walking.

Hermione nodded.

There had been a small ripple in the air.

"You think it will work now?" She asked and took a deep breath.

Snape nodded.

"Let's try."

He held out his hand and she took it. 


	4. the idea

**The idea**

* * *

„Granger! " Snape exclaimed and started stirring his potion.

"What is it, Sir?" Hermione came out of the storage room. She had a few ingredients in her hand.

"I need the nettles now." He said not stopping his actions.

"Yes, Sir. One moment please." She put the ingredients on the table and ran to fetch the nettles, she had cut a little earlier.

After they had arrived back home, they had started working immediately.

"Here, Sir." She said and handed him the nettles.

Snape let them fall into the potion and they both sighed in relieve when the potion turned blue. The color they wanted.

Snape stopped stirring and turned to Hermione.

"Now we have to wait three hours until the potion turns violet." He said and disappeared into his chambers. When he didn't come back, Hermione knocked at his door.

"What is it?" Snape snarled as he opened.

"May I go outside, Sir?" Hermione asked. Snape frowned.

"It's none of my business what you do in your free time. Just be here when the three hours are over." He said and closed his door again.

Hermione smiled and went to the lake.

After settling under a tree, she watched the nature around her and enjoyed the calm quiet moment.

It was strange how Snape had changed in the last two days.

At first he had been annoying, just like always.

Then this night outside he had been nice…well, nice for Snape.

And now he was back to his normal self.

Hermione smiled. He was just like a light switch.

Bad mood. Good mood. Bad mood.

Until now she had only known the dark side, but she hoped with time she would get more good moments.

Falling asleep she closed her eyes and leaned against the tree.

* * *

When Hermione woke up it was twilight already and she realized she had slept far too long.

Standing up she tidied her clothes and tried to tame her hair. Then she ran to the castle and knocked at the door of the potions lab.

"Come in." She heard Professor Snape answer and opened the door carefully.

"Miss Granger, how nice of you to grace me with your presents. I hope you know that you are two hours too late." He said and mixed two ingredients together.

Hermione bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I fell asleep and I woke up too late. But I had a great idea." She smiled and went around the desk to have a better view.

"I dreamed about third class, when Harry and I rescued Sirius. We used a time turner."

Waiting for a reaction she looked at the potions master and sighed when she realized she wouldn't get one.

"Don't you understand? You said this flower we need, needs seven years to grow. If we go into the future, we will get the flower and brew the potion to safe the students. Isn't that a brilliant idea?"

Snape looked at her and shook his head.

"Miss Granger, journeys into the future are very risky. If anyone sees us, we can change the whole world."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Professor, please. It's the only way to get it. We can talk to Minerva if you don't trust me. Please."

Snape sighed.

"Try it Miss Granger. But don't blame me if your whole life gets out of control."

Hermione nodded and went to the Headmistress' office.

* * *

"I shouldn't have agreed to that." Snape mumbled as he put two invisible potions into his robe pockets.

"Professor, are you ready?" Hermione asked. She had just seeded the seeds and was now making herself ready for the journey.

Of course Minerva had allowed her to use the time turner and she was quite happy to see the future.

Maybe she would have a really nice life later.

Smiling she went to Professor Snape.

"Do we have everything?" She asked and grabbed the little basket with a shovel and other important things.

He nodded.

"Let's go now. We shouldn't waste time."

Hermione nodded and took out the time turner.

She hung it around Snape and her and adjusted the year and time.

And suddenly they were in a potions lab, which looked very, very different from Snape's.


	5. the future

**The Future**

* * *

Hermione frowned.

„Where are we?" She asked and looked around. Everything was tidy and what surprised her…double.

"At the same place just seven years later." Snape answered as if she was stupid.

She sighed.

"Yes, but…it looks so different. I would really like to know who works here with you."

"With me?"Snape looked around too and frowned.

"Maybe I have an apprentice. Or maybe I don't work here anymore." He said. The later was something he wished but not believed in.

"Hmm. That's really interesting. Perhaps we could try to find out-"

"No. We have something to do Miss Granger. We should go know to fetch the flowers." Snape interrupted her and pulled two vials out of his cape.

"Here. Take only one drop. That's an invisible potion. So no one will see us, but we will see each other."

He handed her one and opened his.

* * *

The way to the greenhouses was without complications and Hermione and Snape were both relieved when they opened the door to the greenhouse and found it empty.

Fast they went to the place where Hermione had seeded the seeds of the flower, but there was no flower.

"Where are the flowers?" Hermione asked and watched Snape while he thought about a conclusion.

"Let's search. Maybe they just put them somewhere else. If we don't find them, we'll talk to Minerva about it."

Hermione nodded.

Though it wasn't allowed to talk to people in the future, that was their only chance.

Minerva knew about their journey and therefore wouldn't be shocked to see them.

* * *

After searching until midnight they finally gave it up and went to Minerva's office.

But the statue in front of it informed them that the Headmistress wasn't there and would return in three days.

"Three days? That's much too long. What shall we do now? To jump in time again is dangerous. So we have to wait…" Hermione mumbled to herself and looked at her feet.

"Then we'll wait. But we have to find an empty room to stay in. That will be one of the biggest problems." Snape said looked into the empty and dark corridor.

"That's not the biggest problem, Sir, it's the easiest. Room of Requirement."

Hermione smiled and started walking towards said room.

* * *

"There is just one bed." Snape declared looking around the room. "Again."

Their room was pretty. The walls light blue with white furniture and a big window next to the bed. Yes, one bed.

Hermione bit her lip.

"Maybe the room doesn't think it's necessary for us to sleep in separated beds."

Snape sighed.

"Well, I guess we can both behave like adults so it won't be a problem. And I don't care at the moment, because I'm tired like hell." He said and started undressing.

Hermione blushed and went to the bathroom to change into her pajamas, which the room had given to her.

She was tired too and wished for nothing more than a quite night and a peaceful sleep.

When she came out of the bathroom Snape was already asleep.

So she snuggled under the bed sheets and turned off the light.

* * *

When Snape woke up he found a mop of brown curls lying on his chest.

Groaning he carefully tried to wake Hermione up. This time she responded immediately and rose from his chest.

"Sorry." She said rubbing her eyes.

"It seems Miss Granger it doesn't matter how much you drink. You always end up on top of me." Snape said smirking and Hermione blushed.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

Suddenly she hit her forehead.

"We could have separated the bed by magic. Why didn't I think about it yesterday?"

Snape stood up. "You were too tired to think. Don't blame yourself. We'll separate it this night then."

Disappearing into the bathroom Snape yawned and left Hermione to herself.

She smiled thinking about her theory again.

Apparently today he was in a good mood.

Humming to herself she searched for clothes and a comb and started brushing her hair.

When Snape came out of the bathroom, he turned to her and said: "I'm going to search something eatable."

Hermione nodded and thanked him.

As soon as he was gone, she went to the bathroom to shower and think about her strange Professor.

* * *

Thank you for all the reviews.

I guess I won't be uploading for a while now, because I'm in Italy, sorry.

But Have nice summerholidays!


	6. the daughter

**the daughter**

* * *

„Here, I found something to eat. Wasn't that easy to get it." Snape said as he walked through the door.

He had a basket in his hand with fruits and bread, as well as a bottle of orange juice.

Hermione smiled.

"Thanks." She said, when he handed her the basket to fetch what she liked.

They ate a few minutes in silence, each of them thinking about what to do now.

Hermione already knew what she wanted to do.

"Uhm, Professor…Since we have nothing to do here, maybe we could explore the castle a little bit." Hermione suggested.

Snape shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea. If anyone knows we are here-"

"Nobody will know. We have the potion." She interrupted him.

"Please Professor. You can trust me. I won't do something stupid."

Snape looked at her frowning, but eventually sighed.

"Okay, but we'll meet here again at seven." He said and took a drop of the invisibility potion.

* * *

Walking through Hogwarts was nothing new for Hermione.

In the seven years the school hadn't changed that much.

The students were different, the education the same.

Hermione stayed in the classes during the lessons to see the differences, but it was quite frustrating to raise your arm and then remind yourself that no one can see you.

Before the third lesson Snape found her and decided to join her since he hadn't found out something new about Minerva's current residence and therefore had nothing to do right now.

Together they talked about the students, the teachers and the school. Of course with a silencing charm around them, so no one could hear them.

There weren't that many new teachers, but there was one that shocked Hermione quite much.

It was in the forth lesson. The students sat down on their chairs and Hermione and Snape took a seat in the last row. The door opened and into the room came a young woman with brown curly hair, chocolate brown eyes and a stack of books in her hands.

After putting the books down she told the class the topic of the lesson and the students started brewing the potion she wanted. Hermione and Snape however still sat on their chairs - frozen.

Hermione, because she was totally awestruck. She had never thought about becoming a teacher before. Of course she had studied potions, but for something different, like working in the laboratory of the ministry.

Snape, because to him this older Hermione looked absolutely stunning and he had never seen her that way before.

However after calming down a little bit everything was fine until one boy from Ravenclaw asked a question.

"Mrs. Granger could you have a look at this please? I think I did something wrong."

"Of course Mr. Longbottom, I'll come to you immediately." The older Hermione answered, making her way to the pupil.

"Should have known it was a Longbottom. This family is simply too stupid to make a good potion." Snape whispered, though they had a silencing charm around them.

Hermione however had noticed something entirely different.

"He said Mrs. Granger. That means I'm married." A little bit shocked but also happy she sat on her chair, thinking about possible husbands. But unfortunately nobody came into her mind.

Snape however was unpleasantly surprised when he felt a twinge in his heart as she said the word married. What it was he couldn't quite collate, but he feared it felt almost identically to jealousy.

Though he really had no reason to be jealous. Miss Granger was a student and presumably soon his apprentice. He wasn't supposed to have such thoughts. After all he didn't feel anything towards her.

"Okay, class. Now please give me all your potions and clean your cauldrons." The older Hermione said.

After the students were gone she went out through the door and Snape and Hermione followed her.

* * *

Going downstairs Mrs. Granger suddenly stopped and turned to walk into a corridor. Hermione and Snape followed, though Snape tried to look uninterested. But of course he was curious who this mysterious husband was.

"Selena, what are you doing here?" Mrs. Granger asked and both Hermione and Snape froze again when they saw a little girl, which was the spitting image of Hermione. She must be four or five years old, holding a large book in her hands and Hermione could make out the words: Hogwarts a history.

Smiling she suddenly clenched Snape's cloak, because she didn't want to scream. She was so happy she felt ready to take on anything.

Snape however was shocked because he felt disappointed. This girl was the evidence that Hermione loved someone and he loved her back. Shit, did he just think Hermione? It's Miss Granger of course.

And why did he feel so strange things? He really needed a break.

"I was searching a place for reading, mommy." The little girl said and showed her mommy her book.

"You know you shouldn't be wandering around the castle. It can be dangerous and I don't want to lose you." Mrs. Granger said.

The girl nodded.

"I know mommy. I'll go to Minerva then, maybe she wants to read Hogwarts a history, too."

The older Hermione laughed.

"Yes, go to her. Oh, and Selena…if you see your daddy, could you tell him I'm away to buy a few ingredients?"

The little girl nodded and walked away while her mother turned into another direction and made her way to Hogsmeade.

Hermione was crying by now.

She had never really thought about having children, but to actually **see** her daughter was the most beautiful thing ever and she wanted nothing more than to get her.

If she only knew who she would marry, then she could build a relationship with him.

If only…

* * *

The next chapter will be up in three weeks. Sorry, but I'm away. Hope you liked this one.


	7. the son

**the son**

* * *

Severus remained cool, because the little girl had said she was going to visit Minerva.

Apparently she knew where she was and therefore could help them.

"Miss Granger. Get a grip. Maybe your future daughter can help us find the headmistress." He said and dragged Hermione with him.

To their surprise Selena stopped right in front of Snape's quarters, murmured a password and slipped inside.

Severus and Hermione followed closely, but weren't fast enough and before they knew it Selena was already gone. She must have taken the floo network.

"Damn, we missed her." Snape said and looked around his old rooms. T

hey looked familiar, but still different.

Apparently he didn't live here anymore.

How could he, when Mrs. Granger, her _perfect_ husband and Selena lived here?

"Miss Granger, I think we should go." He said and stopped Hermione who was already making her way through the quarters.

"But I'm so curious." She answered smiling and bit her lip.

Snape shook his head. Why did she look so beautiful when she did that?

"It's late already. Dinner is waiting." With that he turned and walked out.

Hermione groaned and followed him.

She desperately wanted to find out who her husband was.

* * *

After separating the beds Severus sat down on his own, a book in his hand.

Hermione was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed.

When they had come back into their room after getting something to eat, it had changed again.

The walls were green, the bed bigger and there were other clothes in the wardrobe.

So it came that Hermione's pajama had been changed into a knee long silk dress-also green.

She had blushed when she had seen it at first, but was now rather fond of it.

After brushing her teeth she went into the bedroom and saw that Snape had separated their bed.

A sudden disappointment rushed through her. She really liked sleeping next to someone. It calmed her and Severus chest was such a good pillow.

Did she just?

_Severus_.

She liked the way that sounded in her thoughts. She would make sure to call him Professor Snape, but think something different.

He was still reading his book, but looked at her for a short moment and Hermione could see his eyes widen, before he looked back down.

Climbing into her bed she turned off her light and smiled as she tried to fall asleep. It took her nearly an hour.

* * *

Severus woke up and saw a mop of curls. Hermione was lying right next to him and he had hugged her while he slept.

Frowning he looked around.

Hadn't he separated the bed?

Trying not to wake her up, he stood up to go to the bathroom, but stopped halfway.

She was so beautiful when she slept.

Especially in this green dress.

Suddenly she opened her eyes. Ignoring the fact that he had been staring at her she looked around.

"Didn't you separate the bed?" Hermione asked and sat up. Severus shrugged.

"Don't know. Apparently the room doesn't want it." He said and headed for the bathroom.

Sighing Hermione got up and smiled to herself.

He was really adorable when he was in a good mood.

Shaking her head she started to get dressed.

She really shouldn't think such things.

After all he was her …Professor?

And if this worked out, she would be his apprentice.

Not a good idea to start having a crush on him.

She had to concentrate on work.

It was more important than her not existent love life.

* * *

They had decided to separate again so they could go through the castle.

Hermione, because she wanted to find out more about her family.

Severus, because he wanted to get away from here as soon as possible.

Of course he didn't mind living in one room with Her-Miss Granger.

But he couldn't stand to know, she would marry some bloke, get a little daughter and live with her nice little family in **his** quarters.

As soon as they were in their time again, he would make sure, she'd never become his apprentice. It was better this way. If she stayed it would be possible to fall in love with her, and he just couldn't risk that.

His heart had been broken enough for one life time, he wouldn't be able to stand more of it.

Turning around a corner he found a group of pupils standing in front of him, blocking the way.

Just when he was about to turn around something caught his attention.

It was him. Severus Snape. Just older and still he looked younger, somehow…happy.

Shaking his head Severus followed his older version into the second corridor. The older Snape was just about to go into a classroom, when he suddenly stopped.

"Mr. Snape may I have a word with you?" He asked and Severus already thought he had seen him, when a young boy came into his view.

He had short black hair, dark eyes and a similar nose to his. He had to be six or seven years old.

"Of course, Professor." He said and went closer to the older Snape.

"Nathaniel, could you give this to your mom, it's very important for her research." He showed him a folded paper.

"Of course, dad." The boy said.

"Thank you. I've to teach now. I'll see you later." The older Snape said and went into the classroom.

The boy walked away while Severus stood frozen in the corridor. He had a son. God, now he knew how Hermione must have felt.

But who was the mother? Determined to find out he followed his future son.

* * *

Bam, there it is... hope you like it. I loved you replys and I'm trying to answer all the open questions...


	8. the affair

**the affair**

* * *

When Hermione came back to the room of requirement Snape wasn't there and she felt disappointed.

She had found out some quite interesting things and wanted to share the news with him, but now that he was away she had nothing to do and so she decided to search for him.

* * *

Severus followed his son until a big group of pupil blocked his way and he couldn't find a way through them without them noticing him.

So his son disappeared.

Cursing Snape turned around and tried to find him again only to bump into someone as he walked around a corner.

To his luck it was only Hermione.

"Hello Professor, I was searching for you." She said smiling and Severus grabbed her hand and pulled her with him.

"I was just following my son, I have to find him." He said.

"You have a son?" Hermione asked surprised and ran to keep up with him.

"Apparently." Snape said and turned around another corner.

"Damn it. I don't see him. He was too fast."

Feeling sorry for him Hermione said: "Maybe we'll find him later. Don't worry. The castle is big but not that big."

Severus nodded.

He wanted to know more about his family so badly.

* * *

"That was delicious. Thank you." Hermione said and ate the last bit of her cake.

Severus chuckled.

"You have chocolate there." He said and wiped it from her lower lip.

Then started to lead his finger to his mouth, but Hermione stopped him, took his hand and guided it to her own mouth, slowly licking the chocolate from Severus finger.

Snape swallowed and tried not to let the physical reaction show his body had.

Hermione smiled at him after releasing his finger and blushed.

"Sorry, I guess that was a little bit inappropriate." She said and bit her lip.

God, she was really killing him.

"Indeed. Very inappropriate." Severus repeated and slowly leaned down to capture her lips.

Hermione had always wanted to know how it was to kiss Severus, but she would have never thought he would be so …kind and soft.

Much too soon he pulled away leaving her and himself breathless.

"We shouldn't do this. I'm sorry." He said and left the room.

* * *

Angry with himself Severus walked through the castle. He had promised himself not to do something stupid and now…

Why couldn't he resist. He was destroying his and her future. After all they were both married, had a child.

They couldn't feel something for each other.

That just wasn't possible.

"Severus."

He turned around and saw Hermione running behind him.

"I didn't mean to make you angry. Please let us just forget everything and start new." She said while catching her breath.

"I don't think that's possible." Severus answered.

Hermione's eyes filled with tears. She wanted to work with him. To be his friend.

"Please. It won't happen again. I'll behave I promise."

Sighing Snape looked at her and wiped her tears away.

"Okay. But stop crying please. I can't stand it."

She nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Would you like to walk with me? I really want to visit the lake right now." Hermione said and bit her lip.

Snape's inner voice groaned.

"Yes, I would like that."He said and they made their way to the lake.

* * *

The walk around the lake was filled with silence.

Hermione and Snape simply enjoyed the fresh air of the night and after one round sat down on a fallen tree and watched the moon shine on the water.

Once they had started to talk they suddenly saw two people coming to the place where they were.

Because they still had their invisibility potion, they didn't go away. The people couldn't see or hear them.

"Oh, there is something I wanted to tell you." Hermione said and turned to face Severus.

"I'm not a teacher at Hogwarts. I was just giving this lesson because the teacher was sick.I'm working for the ministry. I make potions." She said and Snape nodded.

He had already thought something like this. After all the students didn't call her _Professor_.

He was just about to reply, when the two people came over to them and one started talking.

"_Severus, stop that! What if someone sees us_?" Mrs. Granger said and tried to push him away.

"_It's dark, luv. No one will see us. We are alone_." Snape said, took her face in both hands and kissed her.

"_Are you afraid someone will catch us_?" He whispered.

"_Well…you have to admit it would be awkward_." She said and leaned against him. "_I shouldn't be here and you know it_."

Snape smirked.

"_Well I shouldn't be here either, but I guess it will take a while until they start to miss us_."

"_Yeah, I hope so. I don't want to explain where I was._" Mrs. Granger answered.

"_Come on. Let us go a little bit further before we go our rooms_." Snape said and together they walked away.

Hermione and Severus sat on their tree - totally stunned.

"Am I hallucinating or do we … have an affair?" Hermione asked and looked at Severus who looked as stunned as her.

"It seemed so." He replied.

"God, I'm betraying my husband." Groaning she stood up and made her way to the castle.


	9. the truth

**the truth**

* * *

The next hours were awkward.

Hermione didn't talk anymore and went to bed immediately.

Severus however tried to find a solution for this mess, but didn't find one and finally reminded himself that Minerva would be back tomorrow and they would have a chance to find the flowers. With a guilty feeling he went into bed, though he didn't really know why.

* * *

When Severus woke up, Hermione came out of the bathroom. She looked like she had cried and simply said a cold "Hello", before making an attempt to go.

But Severus stopped her.

"Wait. Hermione, you shouldn't cry about something you haven't done yet. And you don't even know if it's true. Maybe we just understood it wrong." He tried to cheer her up.

Hermione bit her lip.

"Listen, Minerva is here today, so we'll visit her, okay? But first we'll go and find your older self to find out the truth. I don't want you to cry all the time over a half-truth or something. We need to concentrate on our work."

Hermione sighed but nodded.

"Okay, then let's go."

* * *

After several attempts to get into Mrs. Granger's quarters they finally gave it up and waited until Selena came, to go in behind her.

She disappeared into her room and Hermione and Severus had enough time to search.

Severus was in the living room, when suddenly Hermione gasped.

"Severus." She said, not noticing that she had used his given name.

"Yes." He answered and went into the bedroom.

Hermione stood in front of the commode and had a picture frame in her hands.

Going nearer Severus suddenly understood her concern.

What she held in her hand was a wedding picture of her…and _him_.

"We are married." Hermione whispered and Severus groaned.

Of course. It all made sense. Why else would she live in the dungeons and have a potions lab which was equipped for two?

It then came into his mind that they also had two children. He had to admit that the idea of Hermione being his wife appealed to him. The few days they had worked together he had started to like her, but he knew that this future life would never happen. After all he was quite sure she only wanted him as her Professor and nothing else. It would be a mess if they decided to live together.

_Bloody hell, how did this all happen?_

Suddenly the front door burst open and Nathaniel came in followed by his parents.

"Hermione we have to get out of here. They are back." Severus said nudging her shoulder. She laid the frame down and looked into the living room, where the whole family was assembled.

"_Okay, kids. You have to go get dressed now. Daddy and I get married in two hours and we have to hurry_." Mrs. Granger said and looked at her watch.

"_But daddy and you are already married. Why do you marry again?_" Selena asked.

"_Well, this time it's a magical wedding, where we'll bound us together for eternity._" Her mother said.

Selena nodded and stood up.

"_Please put on the clothes I put on your bed_."

Nathaniel and Selena nodded and went to their rooms, while Mrs. Granger and Snape came into their bedroom, where Severus and Hermione still stood and listened.

"We have to hide." Severus said and together they went into a corner and tried to make themselves as small as possible.

"_I'm so nervous._" Mrs. Granger said and unbuttoned her shirt.

"_You have no reason to be nervous, luv. After all we are already married and you will look perfect again, just like the last time._" Snape answered and helped her undress.

"_You know I would really love to do something else with you now._" He said and started kissing her neck. The future Hermione moaned but kept undressing and soon was only in her underwear.

"_Severus, stop that. We have to get ready now._" She said as her husband's hands wandered over her breasts.

"_Pity_." He said and let go of her.

Severus and Hermione however were quite shocked when they felt their bodies' response to the scene in front of them.

Trying not to let it show they backed away a little from each other and waited until their future selves had finished.

They then went out of the chambers and upstairs to Minerva's office, since it was the right thing to do and they both needed time to think about what they had seen.

Hermione was happy, though it was all a little bit too much for her. But now that she knew how it could be, she desperately wanted Severus to marry her… and of course the children. She had never given this option much thought, but after thinking about it and seeing it; she was more than ready to get pregnant right now.

Severus couldn't say he hadn't liked what he had seen, but in reality he knew that this future wasn't really possible. They didn't love each other and they certainly didn't want to marry. Though he found Hermione very attractive, she was the one who had to marry him. A former Death Eater, her Professor, 19 years older than her and -and he was quite sure of this fact- not good looking.

He really couldn't see why she would marry someone like him. And he didn't want her to waste her life. After all she was young and free and could get someone better than him. He wouldn't keep her from living.

He was going to make sure of that.

* * *

**AN: **Thanks for all the reviews, I love you readers! I noticed that I make mistakes while writing, but don't see them until later. So I'm sorry if you find some.

Anyway I hope you like the story so far.

AC


	10. the present

**The present**

* * *

After telling Minerva the story why they were in the future, the headmistress told them, that the flowers were in a special garden created for them, because one year after they planted the flowers a student nearly burned them.

Minerva showed them the garden and after Hermione and Severus had everything they needed, they said goodbye and travelled back home.

* * *

"Could you give me the small knife from the cupboard?" Severus asked and Hermione nodded.

They had been working for nine hours now –none stop – and they were both tired like hell.

"It's nearly finished, Miss Granger." Severus said when he saw Hermione yawn. She however tensed hearing he was using her last name again.

"Yes_, Professor_." She made sure to say it as firmly as he had said it.

Snape sighed.

"Okay, now the potion needs to rest five hours. I think we should get a little bit of sleep."

Hermione frowned.

"I don't want to go home now."

Snape looked irritated.

"Why would you go home?"

"To sleep?" Hermione asked slightly annoyed.

"Well, I didn't think about that. I guess I thought since we slept in one bed so often you wouldn't mind sleeping in mine, but of course I can also sleep on the sofa."

Hermione blushed. "No that won't be necessary. I'll sleep next to you." She said smiling. After all she still had the hope he would fall in love with her.

"Good." Snape nodded shortly and went into his chambers.

* * *

Hermione woke up, because someone was whispering her name over and over again.

But the room was still dark and she couldn't see anyone. Turning around she realized the voice, which was moaning her name, belonged to Snape.

He however was still asleep and… well… dreamed.

Of her.

Blushing Hermione turned around again and tried to fall asleep, but she couldn't help herself she was getting wet because of his moaning.

Glancing at him again she let one hand wander into her panties and simultaneous stroked herself to his moans until she fell asleep.

* * *

When Hermione woke up Severus was already gone. Remembering the night she blushed, but managed to calm herself and got out of the bed to dress.

Severus was already in his lab checking the potion.

He mumbled a low "Good morning" when he saw Hermione coming into the room.

She yawned and looked at the potion too.

"Isn't it finished yet?"

"Well, yes but I'm still not sure if it will work." He answered and filled it into a vial.

"We'll see." Hermione answered and they made their way through the castle.

* * *

"It seems your potion has worked just fine." Poppy said and smiled at the two. Severus and Hermione had decided to wait outside the hospital wing. Just in case.

"They are feeling healthier and don't look that bad anymore."

"Nice to hear that. If you would excuse me now." Severus said and started for the dungeons.

"Wait" Hermione called, running behind him.

"What shall I do now?" She asked and Snape finally stopped and turned around.

"I don't know what **you** are going to do now. But **I** will go back into my chambers to do my work. Maybe you should go home, search for a nice job, a husband and have a nice future." He turned around again and left her standing in the corridor.

Tears welt up in her eyes. He couldn't just do that. What about their future? What about the apprenticeship?

He couldn't just tell her to go away and shut up.

Determined to do something she walked to the dungeons. He was going to listen to her.

* * *

Severus sighed as he closed the door behind him. Never in his life had he made a decision this hard.

But it was the only realistic and right thing to do. She would never like him and he wouldn't let her waste her life.

His dream last night had made it clear that he had come too near to her. He couldn't let himself feel something. He was heartbroken enough.

And at the moment it was just sexual attraction. Surely it was just sexual attraction. After all you couldn't fall in love with someone that fast. Could you?

* * *

Hermione knocked on Snape's door and tapped her foot counting the seconds.

When he didn't open she knocked again. And again. And again.

"What is it?" Severus asked as he opened the door.

"I want to talk to you." Hermione said her hands folded in front of her breasts.

"I hear." He answered bored.

"No, not like this. May I come in?" She asked and walked past him through the door without waiting for an answer.

"Yes you may." Snape mumbled and closed the door. He then sat down on his sofa and tried to look annoyed.

"What for God's sake gave you the idea I wanted to leave?" Hermione started and looked furious at him. She had never been so angry in her life. Not even when Draco had called her a mudblood.

When Snape didn't make an attempt to answer she went on.

"Maybe you can't remember, but before this whole mission we had talked about an apprenticeship. And I was supposed to work with you-"

"No." Severus finally said and stood up. "I never wanted you to be my apprentice. That was just something Minerva had told you, because she thought she could talk me into it. But she was wrong. It's my decision to take an apprentice. And maybe you haven't noticed, but I don't take one in general. So you definitely won't be the first."

Angry he glared at her.

"Fine. Then don't do it. But I hope you know that our future will be ruined then." Hermione hissed.

"I never said I wanted this future. It was scaring the hell out of me. This person is someone I will never be and I don't want to be. Forget it. I would never propose to you, let alone sleep with you." He said and regretted it right after he finished. It was a lie. Definitely. Everything.

Hermione's eyes widened and suddenly filled with tears.

"You don't want our children?" She asked her voice breaking.

His heart tore seeing her broken like that, but he knew it was better. For both of them.

"Of course I don't want them. Do you really think I care about children? Maybe you haven't paid attention in class, but children are like venom to me." He said trying to make it sound real.

"But…they would be your children." Hermione said. The tears were now running down her face.

"Like I give a shit. I don't need you mudblood." He said and watched Hermione as she ran out of his chambers crying.

Sighing he sat down and did something he never thought he would do again.

He cried.

Over their **not **existent future.

Over their **not** existent future children.

And over her, his **not** future wife.

* * *

**AN: **Hi, I hope you liked this chapter. I love it because it's so depressing. And don't worry. It won't be the last.


	11. the regret

**_the regret_**

* * *

The rain poured down the glass of the windows. A flash of lightning lightened the dark room for a few short seconds.

Severus Snape sat on his sofa starring at nothing particular.

_I don't need you mudblood. _

The words run through his head. Over and over again. Why did he say that? It destroyed his life once and now it would be the same.

Those were exactly the words he had told Lily before she ended their friendship.

But then again wasn't that what he had wanted all along? To get Hermione out of his life and let her have her own?

Shaking his head he took another sip of his fire whisky.

He had to forget her. Their future would never be like the one they had seen. It just couldn't be possible.

He didn't deserve her. Determined to change their lives he made a plan.

And first thing to change something was to cancel his job- immediately.

* * *

Hermione cursed as she smelled the smoke coming from the kitchen. Never in her life had she been that distracted.

Everything she could think about was her not existent future.

She desperately needed a plan. If Severus didn't want her she would at least try to get him to give her the children she wanted.

All she needed was a good reason. She had to talk him into it. To make him think about it as something good.

But at the moment she was still angry at him. He had been mean to her and his words had hurt her deeply.

Though she had been called a mudblood before, it had never been by someone she had liked.

Throwing the burned cake away she decided to visit him again. Surly he hadn't meant to be this angry. Maybe it had just slipped out.

_Or maybe she was just too optimistic._

Sighing she grabbed her coat and made her way to Hogwarts.

* * *

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Minerva asked when she saw Hermione walking through the great hall.

"Hello Minerva. I was on my way to see Professor Snape." Hermione answered. A sad look appeared on Minerva's face.

"Oh, dear. He doesn't work here anymore. Is there something important you wanted to tell him?"

Hermione froze.

"What do you mean he isn't working here anymore?" She stuttered.

"He left. But maybe we should talk somewhere more private about it. I see you are quite startled. Come with me please." The headmistress said and led Hermione to her office.

"Do you want some tea?" She asked after they had sat down.

Hermione shook her head.

"Do you want to talk about it? Is there something that happened between you and Severus?"

Hermione nodded. She had to keep herself from crying again. That stupid bastard had left - clearly because he didn't want to risk their fate to be fulfilled.

"It happened when we were in the future." Hermione started after finding her voice again.

Minerva listened to her while Hermione told her the whole story, only letting out the more intimate parts.

When she had finished the headmistress smiled.

Frowning Hermione looked at her.

"Why are you smiling?"

"My dear, you must know Severus only is that mean to persons, if he likes them. He knew exactly what would hurt you and he got to his aim. You left him and he stopped working here because of the memories of you and your future together."

Hermione frowned. Could it be true? Was she really important to him? She doubted it.

"But he said-"

"I know what he said, dear. But he lied. You mean very much to me. I noticed that when you came back from your journey. The way he looked at you made me wonder if something between the two of you had happened, but I told myself I was hallucinating."

The older witch smiled again.

"If you still want to visit him, and I think that would be the best, you should go to Spinner's end."

Hermione thought about it for a while then nodded.

She wanted to talk to him. What Minerva had said had given her hope and she was calmer now that she had told her everything. Maybe it would work out for them in the end. Maybe…

* * *

Severus sighed when someone knocked at the door to his flat.

He wasn't sure why someone would visit him, but thought that maybe Minerva had come to talk him into teaching again.

In that case he shouldn't open the door, but he was curious.

After all he had nothing to do here.

He opened the door and when he realized who was standing in front of him he also realized it had been a bad idea to open the door.

"Hello, Severus." Hermione said and bit her lip.

"I…I came because I wanted to talk to you."

Part of him was happy about her being here, the other part (it was the logical one) told him to slam the door shut immediately.

"Come in." He heard himself say and Hermione smiled at him and walked past him into the living room.

* * *

**AN:** lol, I'm going to make them both suffer. Evil me. ^^


	12. the agreement

**The agreement**

* * *

Hermione stood in the middle of the room, rethinking her idea to come here. Of course Severus hadn't yelled at her yet, but maybe he was just too stunned, that she had figured out where he lived.

The last time they had seen each other had ended in a fight. She didn't want that now.

"So, what are you doing here?" Severus asked as he walked over to the sofa motioning her to have a seat too. She sat down in front of him and bit her lip, trying to think of a good way to begin.

"I'm sorry I assumed you wanted a future with me. I didn't want to ignore or hurt you in any way. Over the last few days I've realized that my behavior was stupid and childish. And…and I'd really like to be your friend." Hermione said.

Severus frowned, but didn't say anything.

He knew if he said something he would give them a chance and that was something he couldn't let happen.

Hermione looked around feeling uneasy.

She had thought he would at least answer. But at the moment he just played with her and she knew nothing about his mood.

Sighing she stood up.

"If you aren't going to say something about this, I'll just go. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

She started walking towards the door crossing her hands in front of her chest. In Severus mind the thoughts raced.

He should at least apologize.

What he had said hadn't been nice and maybe this was the last time he would see her.

_Maybe the last time to change the future. _A voice in his head whispered, but he quickly shut it out.

"Wait." He said and Hermione stopped walking but didn't turn around.

"I also want to apologize. What I said to you… was something I should have never even thought. It was foolish and childish too. I don't expect you to forgive me and I think… it will be better if you go away now. We don't fit together. Not even as friends."

She turned around after he had finished and smiled at him.

"You know it's not the problem that we don't fit together. It's the problem that you try to talk yourself into believing that. But don't worry I'll not try to make you fall for me or something. That's not the reason I'm here." Hermione sat down again and saw Severus frown.

"Why are you here then?" He asked and tried to sound bored. Part of him was relieved she wasn't going to make it harder for him, the other part was sad about losing her.

"I'm here, because after all I still can't see me with another guy. And I'm very certain there will be no one in my future. And don't get me wrong, that is not a problem for me. But I desperately want children…or at least one child. And the problem is that no one is going to get me pregnant. This is why I'm here. I wanted to ask you to…kind of be a sperm donator for my children."

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione stopped him.

"Before you say something hear me out please. Let me tell you the benefits."

He nodded but frowned again. Hermione smiled.

"First you wouldn't even have to sleep with me. I simply need your sperm. So don't bring up this _I won't touch you because I don't want a future with you _crap_. _Second you'll never see the child or children if you don't want to. I will also not tell anyone they are yours. Furthermore I will pay you exactly the same money a surrogate mother would get and I can tell you that is quite much. Also I will promise you'll never see me again if you wish for that… Yes, that's pretty much it. "

She finished and took a deep breath.

Severus was stunned by her suggestion.

His brain even started thinking about saying yes, just to have the knowledge she would be caring his child.

But of course that was totally silly.

Clearly Hermione was too young and foolish to believe no one would marry her.

There had to be a guy who- He couldn't even think about it.

Jealousy burned in his chest.

If she had his children he would at least have a bit claim of her.

Though of course considering his plan to get her away from him, this was definitely something he shouldn't do.

Cursing himself he thought about it again.

Well, he wouldn't be a part of her life.

She would simply be the mother of his children and still have a life without him and that was according to the plan.

Satisfied with himself he decided.

"Okay." He said and Hermione looked at him surprised.

She hadn't thought he would say yes.

But now that she knew he was, her heart was busting with joy.

"Really? You'd really do that for me?" She asked and smiled at him. He had to admit she looked a little crazy at that moment.

"Yes, I'll do it. But only if you calm down now."

In an instant Hermione was sitting quite and serious on the sofa again.

"Of course, sir."

"Good. I'll send you a package with… all important things and I expect you to write me a message once it worked. We'll see how it will go on then." Severus said and stood up to bring her to the door.

"Yes. Thank you, Severus." Hermione went to stand next to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

Blushing she realized what she was doing.

"I guess I'd better be going now."She said and slipped through the front door.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you, Jane. I hope you like this chapter.

AC


	13. the disappointment

**The disappointment**

* * *

Hermione sighed as she waited for the test results. It had gone all so great.

Before she had gone to Severus she had made a plan. A plan much to slytherin for her own liking, but if it helped, she would do anything to get the future she had seen.

The time she had spent with Severus had opened her eyes to see the really important things of life. And she knew he was one of those. Though she didn't love him yet, she admitted that she fancied him and could easily see herself falling for him. It would be only a matter of time.

The pregnancy was the major part of her plan. She hoped once Severus would "accidentally" see the child, he would change his mind and try to build a relationship with her. She had meant it when she told him she wanted to be friends with him. It was important to her, because friendship could always lead to something more.

At first she hadn't believed in her plan, certain Severus would never agree to this stupid idea. But know she wanted nothing more than the plan to work out. And if she counted right, she needed to get pregnant soon. Nathaniel hadn't been that old and the time was running out. She really hoped it had worked this time.

All the last times the mediwitches had tried their best. Hermione had taken fertility potions and everything and still it hadn't worked. Now she was here again and wanted an answer. Hopefully a good one.

"Miss Granger?" The mediwitch asked carefully. It was then that Hermione knew she wasn't pregnant.

Not if she was approaching her like that.

"Yes." Hermione stood up, keeping herself from crying. What was she going to do know? Of course she could try again. But apparently her body wasn't okay with this way of conception.

"I'm sorry. It didn't work." The mediwitch said and left when Hermione slowly nodded.

She hadn't believed she still had some hope left, but she had heard the words she had felt it leave her body.

She needed a break now. Desperately. She should go home now. But she would only go into an empty flat. No one to comfort her. No one to help her forget about it and make her see the positive in this situation.

No.

She wouldn't go home.

She would visit a friend.

* * *

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Severus asked when he opened the door.

It was almost eight o'clock. Normally she didn't visit him that late. Or anyone in general.

"I…I was just …I needed to see someone. I needed someone to tell." Hermione whispered, but he heard it anyway.

Frowning he opened the door wider and motioned her to come in. She gave him a thankful glance before going straight to the living room and sitting down on the sofa.

When Severus took a seat in front of her, he could see she had been crying.

Her eyes were still swollen and red.

Giving her a handkerchief she thanked him and blew her nose.

"What happened?" He asked.

Hermione looked at her hands.

"It didn't work."

Severus frowned.

"Well, normally it takes some time. Maybe you should just try again." He suggested. Of course he hadn't forgotten about their deal and he looked forward to and also feared the day she would come to him and tell him it worked. Because that would be the last day he would see her. He had promised that to himself. She would be the mother of his child, but not his wife or girlfriend or anything like that. He would only have a little claim over her. And a part of him thought it was_n't _enough.

"No. I tried four times already. The first time the test was negative I told myself that it was just normal. That even magic wasn't powerful enough to help. But after this time I've no hope left." She responded and wiped her eyes again.

"Maybe you just have to have more faith-"

"Severus, don't you listen. Not even magic can help me. The mediwitch said it should have worked at least the third time and still I'm here without child. I can't do that again. My spirit is broken. As much as I want this child, it isn't supposed to happen…You were right with what you said about my hopes and about the future I wanted. There is no way I'll ever get that. Faith is not on my side."

Severus heart clenched when he saw her so lost and hopeless.

He wanted to comfort her.

To tell her it would be better soon.

**Hell**, he would even agree to marry her if she was better then.

And that was the moment he realized he was falling for her.

Falling so bad he was sure if he didn't stop now, he would hit the ground quite hard.

Cursing himself he stood up and went to the kitchen.

Making tea always calmed him. It was like making potions, just with fewer ingredients.

After five minutes he came back and the sofa was empty.

Hermione stood near the window, starring into the twilight.

"Would you like to have some tea?" Severus asked putting the tray on the table.

She turned around and he could see fresh tears again.

"Yes, thank you." She said and he sighed.

Bringing her a cup he remarked:"Maybe we aren't meant to be. Or…rather this connection between us isn't meant to be."

New tears built in her eyes as Hermione took the cup from him.

"No. Your children or none at all." She said and took a sip.

Severus frowned. She really was stubborn. Not that he didn't like that.

"Well, we could always try the usual way."He joked and froze when he saw Hermione's stunned expression.

"You'd sleep with me?"

* * *

**AN: **Lol, I love cliff hangers. I won't update for two weeks because I'll be in Barcelona. But I still hope you liked this chapter.

AC


	14. the experience

**the experience**

* * *

Severus sighed.

„I'm not going to answer that question. It's totally inappropriate. I just wanted to make a joke. Nothing more."

Hermione put her cup away and took one step forward.

"Come on. Give me an answer and I will be quite." She approached him. He shook his head, but stared at her nervously.

"Please?" She said and looked up at him.

"No." He licked his lips.

"What no? You won't answer it or you won't sleep with me?" Her gaze fell to his lips.

"I wouldn't sleep with you." He croaked.

"You're sure?" Hermione asked and got onto her tiptoes.

"Quite." Severus answered and leaned into her kiss.

As their lips met desire sparked through both of them and Severus pulled Hermione up to have better access to her mouth.

Moaning Hermione let her hands wander through his hair and smirked when she heard him groan.

"We shouldn't do that."

"Yes, we should." She insisted and claimed his lips again. Severus mind however played games with him at the moment. The logical side against the other one. He wanted to keep his life the way it was, but he desperately needed to have her. Feeling his body taking over he finally gave in and carried Hermione to his bedroom.

She helped him by taking of his clothes and by the time they reached the bedroom he was only in his trousers. Kissing her neck he laid her down onto the mattress and let his hands run over her body. With a quickly whispered spell her clothes disappeared and she laughed at his impatience.

"That's not fair. You still have something on." Hermione protested and gasped when suddenly his trousers vanished and his body was bare in front of her. She had never dared to even think he looked this good under his robes. She had thought because of all the torturing events his body was mutilated and not very pretty, but the few scars he had added well to his good trained body.

She suddenly felt self-conscious. She wasn't fat or anything, but quite plain and she had only slept with a few guys before and it had always been dark then. What if she wasn't appealing to him?

Severus eyes roamed her body and he felt himself growing harder. He leaned down to kiss her again.

"You're beautiful." He said and saw Hermione blush.

"You ,too." She answered without using her brain.

Chuckling Severus caressed her breasts and slowly made his way down. Settling between her legs he started stroking her folds and received a moan from her in return.

"Enough." Hermione said after half a minute. "Stop teasing me."

Severus crawled up to her again and smirked.

"As you wish."

With one swift motion he was in her and Hermione loved the feeling of him inside her. She had never been that full and aroused. Moving with his thrusts she quickly felt the pressure building in her belly and soon came. But Severus wasn't even near the end. He kept up his movements and brought Hermione quickly to a second orgasm. Only after it he allowed himself to come too and sank spent down next to her.

After a few minutes of relaxing Hermione had finally caught her breath again.

"That was awesome."

Severus only nodded.

"Do you think it worked?" She asked and it took him a minute to realize what she was implying. Of course the child. How could he forget about that?

"I don't know." He answered honestly but still grabbed his wand. Murmuring a quick spell and pointing the wand at Hermione's belly a green light appeared.

"What does that mean?"

"It means you aren't pregnant. It has either to be blue or red. Every other color means nothing." Severus stated.

Hermione looked at him disappointed. Of course she had known it wouldn't be that easy, but still she was happy they had slept with each other. She had the feeling her plan finally went how it was supposed to. All she could pray for now was that she really wasn't unfertile.

Severus felt Hermione's concern and wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. His actions with her had been so out of control that he believed himself to be insane. There was no logical explanation for his reaction and he didn't even want to think about love. He didn't love her. He liked her and he was attracted to her, but his former conclusions of him falling for her had been stupid. He had just thought that because his body wanted her. Nothing else. That was the reason.

"Well maybe you'll get pregnant the next time." He said and Hermione gave him a radiant smile, which let his heart skip a beat. Maybe love wasn't that absurd. _Oh shut up mind_. A Severus Snape didn't fall in love. Surely not. This thing with Lily had only been a crush, if anything. And Hermione was just a pretty woman who had just slept with him. Of course he liked her. Just liked her. Not wanting to think about it anymore he pulled Hermione into his arms and fell asleep with her next to him.

* * *

**AN:**So I'm back again. And I hope you liked this chapter. I know my lemons aren't good, but I hope it wasn't that horrible.

AC


	15. the seperation

**The seperation**

* * *

Hermione and Severus kept sleeping with each other. They spend much time together and when they weren't in bed they actually undertook something.

They read together, brew potions together and even went out on occasions.

That was until one morning Hermione felt the urge to throw up. Panic rose within her and she quickly locked herself in the bathroom.

Severus wasn't awake yet and she didn't want to take him by surprise.

Pointing her wand at her belly she whispered the spell Severus had taught her and groaned when a blue light appeared.

**She was pregnant.** With her son. But out of sudden she wasn't that happy about it anymore. Of course she still wanted a child, but she didn't want to lose Severus.

She had fallen for him. She knew it. There was no reason to deny it. Her own plan was working against her. Well, Severus had always been nice to her, but she was quite sure he didn't feel something special towards her. Now that her task was fulfilled there was no longer a reason to stay with him.

Surely once he found out he would make her leave. She had to keep her pregnancy a secret.

It wouldn't be that easy but maybe this way she could stay a few weeks longer.

* * *

Severus woke up because Hermione was missing. Usually she would sleep on his chest, but at the moment he was alone in bed.

Standing up he made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He collided with Hermione however.

"Sorry." He said and looked at her. There was fear in her eyes and sorrow.

"It's okay. My fault. I wasn't watching where I was going." She rambled and smiled nervously.

Severus frowned.

"Are you all right?"

"Sure." She nodded and he could hear her lying.

Why would she lie to him? She had never done that before. Something must have happened.

And then it hit him.

She was hiding something. Probably concerning her pregnancy wish. Maybe she was pregnant and too afraid to tell him?

But that didn't make sense to him. After all there was no reason for her to stay here any longer if she really was pregnant. He had been nothing more than a sperm donator to her. She had made that quite clear at the beginning. And still he couldn't help himself but feel more attached to her than ever. _What was wrong with him?_ He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to be with him. This feeling was new for him.

Severus really wanted to know what was wrong with her, but he didn't dare to ask. If she told him she was pregnant she would go away. And he needed her. As a friend, as a lover, as her.

"Okay." He mumbled and went into the bathroom.

* * *

It was around noon when Hermione fell asleep on the sofa. Severus had been reading a book and was now cooking lunch.

Noticing Hermione was asleep a thought hit his mind.

Maybe he could simply find the truth out himself.

After all he just needed some luck so she wouldn't wake up.

Whispering the right spell a blue light appeared and Severus knew why she had been so upset.

She was pregnant.

But still that didn't explain her reaction. Why didn't she want to tell him?

Severus went to the kitchen again and thought about their child. Wait. It was only her child.

And that somehow made him sad. He hadn't known he cared for the child. But it apparently this was the case.

If Hermione didn't tell him about the pregnancy, he wouldn't ask. It would only cause problems. And it would lead to her leaving. There was no way he was going to let that happen. Only if she really wanted to go. The scenario played in his head and what he saw felt a stab in his heart.

He really liked her. _Yes of course_ if it would be that simple. 

_Why couldn't he just admit it?_ He loved her.

Damn he needed her more than anything before. Her leaving would probably feel like losing a part of his soul.

No. He couldn't do that. He would never mention his knowledge. She would have to tell him on her own. Unfortunately she would have to do it quite soon anyway. Because a baby grows. And then he couldn't act like her belly size was normal. He had to give her up. But until this moment he would spend as much time with her as possible.

* * *

The moment however came faster than both of them had thought.

Hermione stood in front of the mirror eyeing her belly suspiciously.

She had gained weight and she knew Severus would soon see it. Her belly looked bloated. Not that much, but still it was enough to start wondering about it.

Seeing her defeat Hermione opened the door to the living room and sat down in front of Severus.

She was going to do it now. She was going to destroy the life she had just because she couldn't lie to him any longer.

She loved him and she couldn't keep annoying him with her presence.

After all this was all business for him.

"I'm pregnant." She said and waited for his reaction.

It took him a few seconds but then he nodded.

"So…do you want to leave now?" He asked, his voice carrying a strange emotion Hermione couldn't quite define.

She cleared her throat.

"Well, yes. We planned it like that. But of course if you say now that you want me to stay and maybe see how the child grows or something, I will stay. It's your decision. " Hermione said leaving Severus torn.

Of course he wanted her to stay. Of course he wanted to see their child grow. But Hermione only suggested that because she wanted him to have a chance with the child. To be a father. She didn't do it because she wanted it. It was all about the child. At the beginning she had said she would leave him alone and he would never hear of the child or her again. And maybe that was the best.

If he told her to stay now, it would only be because he was being selfish.  
He couldn't do that.

No. He would let her leave.

* * *

**AN: **Gosh, I love those ups and downs. The story isn't finished yet. There are going to be some more chapters. Hope you liked it,

AC


	16. the pain

**the pain**

* * *

Sighing Hermione looked at her swollen belly.

She was four month along now and she hadn't seen Severus since the day he told her to leave.

Okay, well, that wasn't true. It hadn't been his fault. She had made the first step and sometimes she regretted it. Especially when she was alone.

Though she lived in Hogwarts at the moment –Minerva had been so friendly to offer her Severus' old chambers- she spend most of the time on her own.

The library was one of her favorite places. She read thousand of books during her time there, but she knew she mostly did this for distraction. When she went back to her chambers she was always reminded of Severus and it hurt her to feel his presence in an empty room.

It was November now. The leaves lost their colors and trees were empty. Hermione put on her cloak and went outside to wander around the lake. It calmed her. It made her forget everything around her. Just like the rain.

When she reached the fallen tree Severus and she had sat on suddenly a sharp pain run through her chest.

Groaning Hermione reached for the tree, but the pain only got worse.

Sending a patronous to Minerva was the last thing she managed before the world around her went black.

* * *

"Can you do something, poppy?" The headmistress asked as Hermione opened her eyes.

"No, at the moment I don't even know what caused the pain." She answered and Hermione coughed.

"Oh, you are awake." Turning towards her Poppy smiled.

"You don't know why this happened?" Hermione asked and watched Poppy shaking her head.

"But, we can try to find out. At first I thought it was the pregnancy, but I have a special charm detecting all pains a pregnancy can cause. It was something different. So I searched in your blood, but there was also no evidence. Maybe it was something concerning your psyche? What did you think about or what did the place mean to you, you were at when the pain appeared?"

Hermione's eyes widened.

There was no way she was going to tell her she had been thinking about Severus.

And why should that even be relevant?

She was thinking about him all the time.

"I didn't think about something I haven't thought about before."

Poppy nodded. "What about the place?"

Hermione bit her lip.

"Well, I've been there in the future."

"I see. Did something special happen there?"

"No." Hermione answered and Minerva frowned. She knew the story.

Hermione had told her almost everything. Therefore she knew Severus and Hermione had been there.

Maybe that was the problem. Too many memories. Minerva had heard about something like this before. It wasn't seldom that the children did something to get their parents together again. And apparently this was the case here. To cause the mothers physical pain until they realized it only got better when the father of the child was near them. In most of these cases the parents were soul mates.

But at the moment Minerva had no proof. She would have to wait and see.

"Well, okay. If you say yourself that you are feeling better now, you may leave. But I wouldn't go out alone anymore. The risk is too high that this happens again."

Hermione nodded and carefully made her way back to Severus quarters.

* * *

Though Hermione tried to stay calm she couldn't. The pain was always there. **Small**, but still there.

She detected that it got worse as soon as she went to a place where Severus and she had been.

She fainted two more times. Once in his labor and the second time in his living room, where they had the fight.

She was afraid, because she didn't know what to do against it. Even when she told Poppy the truth she couldn't help her and said that maybe she just needed to see Severus. But Hermione couldn't do that. He didn't want her. He had only wanted the money, nothing more. It was all just a deal for him. There were no feelings involved.

Though she had to admit he had changed since her school time.

He was nice and funny and sometimes he actually laughed. He made her feel special and never once had he called her a know-it-all while her time with him.

Maybe-_No_, she was only making fun of herself. Surely he would never feel something for her.

Minerva watched Hermione as much as possible and finally came to the conclusion that it couldn't go on like this. She saw her pain and her loneliness.

God, she was even lonely in a room filled with people. This was not she deserved. It was not what Severus deserved.

They were both fools and to blind to see that. And here she thought they were intelligent.

Shaking her head she disappeared into her office.

* * *

Severus cursed as the fourth potion he tried to brew went wrong.

He just wasn't concentrating anymore.

He hadn't slept for days. Afraid he would dream about her. His dreamless potion hadn't worked and now he didn't want to sleep anymore.

He hadn't showered, he hadn't eaten, he had done nothing other than to drink himself into numbness and trying to brew some new potions to earn money.

A knock at the door let him snap out of his anger and hope filled his chest.

Maybe she had come back to see him.

_Oh, come on._

She would never do that. No way he was that lucky, but still he thought about not opening the door in case Hermione really was out there. What if she saw him like that?

Stopping in front of the door he braced himself and asked:"Who is there?"

"Minerva. Please open the door Severus. I need to talk to you." The headmistress said.

"Can you come back later? I'm not ready for a discussion right now." He answered hoping she would just leave him alone.

"It concerns Hermione." She tried again and this time she caught his attention.

The door was opened and Minerva went in.

* * *

**AN: **Lol, it's going up again.


	17. the beginning

**the beginning**

* * *

"Is she okay?" Severus asked and Minerva saw the concern on his face.

He looked horrible. But she was here because of something more important than looks.

"Well, depends on how you define okay." She said and sat down on his sofa.

"Hermione had a few breakdowns. The problem is Poppy can't find anything. Also Hermione seems to feel a strange pain in her chest."

Severus frowned.

"You mean like something is pulling inside you, but you don't know what it is?"

When Minerva nodded he stayed silent.

"Why? Do you know something about it?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head. "But I feel it too."

Minerva tried to hide her smile. So she had been right after all. They really were meant for each other.

"That's interesting. It actually reminds me of an incident thirty years ago. There was a couple with the same symptoms you two have. The woman was pregnant and the father of the child had broken up with her. They thought they wouldn't fit. But apparently they did. The child caused its parents pain and it only got better when they were together. This way they found out they truly loved each other and were soul mates."

Severus snorted.

"Minerva, please. You know Hermione and I aren't meant for each other. That's impossible."

The headmistress gave him an angry look.

"Why do think that? After all you are married to her in the future. So why shouldn't you two fit together?"

Severus stood up and paced through the room.

"No, we aren't meant for each other. And if you are right and the child causes the pain it will probably go away once it is born."

Minerva shook her head.

"You really want to let Hermione suffer for the next five month? The pain is unbearably for her." She said trying to talk some sense into him.

Severus sighed. Of course he didn't want her to feel pain. But if he would go to her now it would cause him pain to leave her again.

But maybe that was a chance for him to make her fall for him.

He had to try.

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll come back to help her, but we are not soul mates." He said and disappeared into his bedroom to pack a few things and take a shower.

* * *

Hermione was once again in the hospital wing. But this time it was only for a check.

Poppy was just finished when Hermione suddenly gasp.

"What is it dear?" Poppy asked eyeing Hermione suspiciously.

"The pain fades. It's getting better and better with every second."

Hermione smiled and let out a relieved breath, when suddenly the door opened and Minerva walked in followed by…Severus.

"You're feeling better, don't you?" Minerva asked and Hermione nodded.

"As long as he is in your presence you will not feel the pain. The baby is the reason for that. It wants its parents around it." The headmistress said and went to talk with Poppy to leave the two some space. Though Hermione wanted to know more about this the baby is the reason thing, she accepted the explanation of Minerva.

"Hi." Hermione said and bit her lip. She was trying to hide her smile and swallow her tears. She had never been that happy to see him.

"Hello." He answered and looked nervous. "What do you want to do now?"

Hermione gave him a small smile.

"Actually I wanted to go to the library. I have to give a few books back I borrowed. But if you want to do something else…"

"No that's fine. We can do whatever you want to. I just don't want you to be in pain again." He answered and Hermione suddenly hugged him.

She didn't really know why, but it felt right and the body contact was something she had missed the month they had been separated.

Severus' mind groaned. Why was she making it so hard for both of them? His body was already craving hers again and her hug surely didn't help at all.

He cleared his throat and she let go of him taking the hint. Blushing Hermione looked at the floor.

"Didn't you say something about the library? I suggest we go there."

Hermione nodded.

"Okay, but first let me fetch a few books."

He followed her through the castle and frowned when he saw she was living in his chambers.

It looked exactly like he had left it. Only the books in the shelves were different.

"Okay." Hermione exclaimed. "Those need to be carried upstairs. Could you maybe help me?"

In front of her was lying a mountain of books which was nearly as high as her.

Severus frowned.

"You aren't going to carry that." He said.

"But you can't take it alone. It's too heavy."

"Yes, but we are wizards. We can shrink them and then carry them in our pockets." He said and Hermione frowned.

Apparently she was really getting stupid.

Maybe that was the stress of the pregnancy.

"Okay. Then we'll do that."She said and they went to work.

At eight o'clock they were finally finished.

Hermione had insisted on taking a few more books upstairs and therefore they had to go more often.

The whole guestroom had been filled with books.

He hadn't even known the library had that many.

Exhausted they ate together.

The first time Severus actually saw what yuck things Hermione ate. She apparently had a craving for nuts and ate them with anything. And he meant _anything_.

When he asked her how she could eat something like that, she angry told him, that he didn't have to watch her eat. And he had chuckled. Strangely finding her mood swings amusing.

After dinner they had sat in front of the warm fire and read.

Now Severus was tired and started to make his way to the guest room, when suddenly Hermione stopped him.

"Where are you going?"

"Trying to get some sleep." He answered and started to turn around again.

Hermione bit her lip.

"Wait! Could you sleep with me?" She blushed realizing what she just said.

"I mean. Could you sleep in one bed with me? Ever since I left you I had problems with falling asleep and my chest feels much better when you are near me. Please?"

Severus sighed.

"Of course." He said defeated.

He couldn't tell why he was happy about her request, after all this was going to be pure torture.

* * *

**AN:** Here it goes again. They'll will have a hard time denying their feelings. If you have any suggestions about how I should go on feel free to write me.

AC


	18. the christmas night

**The christmas night**

* * *

„Ron, stop glaring at them like that. Hermione isn't yours and apparently she is happy with Snape. So let them be." Harry said and took a cookie from the plate in the middle of the table.

"Didn't you listen when Hermione told us the story? She is just getting his child. There is no real relationship between them. They just have to stay next to each other because of the pain." Ron hissed at his friend and swallowed the last drops of his wasn't in love with Hermione anymore, but he surely didn't like to see his friend with Snape. **That bastard.** Angry he went into the kitchen to get another cup of beer. This was the worst Christmas ever.

Harry sighed and went to the table where all the other Weasleys and a few people from school sat. Hermione smiled when she saw him and took another bite of her marmalade-peanut sandwich.

Funny how her taste had changed. Though of course Harry had heard it was normal for a pregnant woman to have such cravings.

But still there was something weird about the whole situation. Hermione had told them she had only used Snape as a sperm donator, but obviously there was more to it than met the eye. The way Snape looked at her made clear that he would also be here with her if she wasn't in pain. And Hermione wasn't better either. Sometimes she would look at Snape carefully so he didn't see her and her glance would hold a longing so powerful, everyone who saw it would be sure it was love. Clearing his head of those thoughts Harry shock his head and turned his attention to Ginny.

Severus sat on his chair right next to Hermione and though the room was full of people, he had never felt that alone. Of course he couldn't blame her, but the reason he was here was after all she or rather their child. _Her_ child. Yes, _her_ child. Why couldn't he get that?

He needed to get her out of his system.

Part of him knew that was he wanted to give her the life she wanted. And that was a life without him. Sure, he would stay with her until the child arrived, but after the birth he would go without a goodbye. He would turn his back at her and move into another country. Yes, that would be great. He had always wanted to life in Italy or maybe he could visit a few countries before settling down. Spain was nice, he had been there once. Or Greece-

His train of thought was interrupted when Hermione excused herself and went to the bathroom.

It was only a short distance but the pain in his chest started again. Knowing Hermione felt it even worse he made his way to the bathroom and waited in front of the door. Five minutes later Hermione came out and smiled at him.

"That wasn't necessary. It wasn't that bad." She said and bit her lip.

"I just wanted you to feel comfortable. Besides I feel the pain too, you remember?" Severus said and looked at his feet.

Hermione blushed. "Oh, of course. Sorry, I forgot that."

"Hey, Hermione. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ginny asked smiling at Severus and grabbing her friends arm.

"Yes, of course. Severus, it won't be necessary for you to stay, but if the pain gets to bad for you, you can knock at the door." Hermione said and Ginny closed the door of the kitchen. Since Severus had nothing else to do he went back to his place, hoping Hermione wouldn't spend too much time away from him. The pain was arriving again.

"So, now that we are finally alone are you going to tell me what on earth is going on between the two of you? And don't try to tell me this I-only-carry-his-baby-story. I don't believe one word of it." Ginny said and pointed her finger at Hermione's chest.

Her friend bit her lip. "Gin, can we just drop it? I don't want to talk about right now. And most of the story is true."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I may be not as intelligent as you, but I'm surely not blind. The two of you are starring at each other like you are some forbidden fruit or shit."

Hermione sighed.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. And I mean anyone. You can't tell it your family or Harry or anyone else you know. Is that understood?"

Ginny nodded and drew a cross over her heart with her finger.

"Okay, when Severus and I were on that future mission I told you about, we found out, we were married in the future and had two children."

"What? Why didn't you tell me? You left out the important part of the story. That's not fair." Ginny pouted.

"Would you please be not that loud? If they hear us, everything is ruined." Hermione said and looked at her friend angry.

"Yes. Sorry. Go on."

"Okay, well. We actually had a nice time, but when we came back he was all cold and mean like he used to be. He made clear he didn't want a future with me. But I didn't give up. I talked him into giving me his sperm and then I went to the medi-witch to impregnate me. However it didn't work and I was upset and crying and since I had nowhere to go I knocked at his door telling him about what happened and we…" Hermione blushed and looked at the floor.

"You slept with him?" Ginny asked awestruck.

Hermione nodded.

"You shagged the old dungeon bat?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ginny, language."

Her friend smiled. "Sorry…So how did it go on?"

Hermione sighed. "Well, we had a… you could actually call it relationship going on, but after a few weeks I realized I was pregnant. The stupid thing was, I had already fallen for him and I didn't have the strength to leave him. So I hid it from him. It was hard and I felt guilty every time we slept with each other because I knew he just did that to get me pregnant and not because he loved me. So I told him the truth and moved to Hogwarts. There I got this pain I already told you about and every time he is near me I feel great, the farer he is away the more it hurts."

Hermione ended and a tear ran down her cheek.

Ginny frowned.

"Why do you think he doesn't love you? Have you seen the look on his face when he watches you? It's so obvious he cares for you. How can't you see it?"

Hermione shook her head.

"You're wrong. He tries to avoid me as much as he can. The only time it seems like he cares for me is when I fall asleep in his arms." She smiled. "Yes, that really is the best time of the day."

"I don't think I'm wrong. You two should definitely talk with each other. I bet he feels the same way you do about him." Ginny said and suddenly there was a soft knock at the door.

"Hermione? Are you finished? It's getting quite uncomfortable here." Severus said and Hermione went to open the door. She had felt it too. The pain was apparently getting worse with each month. She guessed at the end of her pregnancy they would have to go to the bathroom together. What a strange thought.

Severus sighed when Hermione came out of the kitchen and was totally surprised by her action when she suddenly hugged him.

"Thank you. I really needed that." She said letting go him. "Can we go home now? I'm very tired."

He nodded. "Of course. Whatever you want."

And with that they went to say goodbye to the others to make their way home.

* * *

**AN:** Wow, that really took me a long time. Sorry, but I had a major blockade. I hope I'll update my other stories too soon. Thanks for reading, AC


	19. the awakening

**The awakening**

* * *

In her mind everything was full of joy. She was at the place she had always wanted to be at, with everyone she loved. And such a warm feeling spread through her, that for a short moment she couldn't tell if she was dreaming or not.

Every night it would be like this and every time she would wake up feeling the amazing feeling fade. Then there would be nothing but problems and sorrow.

Just like ...

Today Hermione woke up and her skin was ice cold. She had never been one who loved the hot sun and the deadly heat, but this morning she wished she was at least a little bit warmer. Rubbing her eyes she sat up and looked around. The room was empty and the sun wasn't showing today. Everything looked grey and bleak.

From the kitchen she could hear the sounds of Severus making breakfast and relaxed a little bit.

At least he was still here. But for how long?

Giving her belly a quick glance she stood up and made her way to the bathroom to empty her stomach and shower. When she was done, she couldn't help herself but notice how different her body looked now. No wonder Severus didn't want her, she looked like a whale.

Tears came into her eyes as she stood in front of the mirror. She had never given it a thought, but maybe that was the reason he didn't touch her anymore. Then again the deal was to get her pregnant and maybe he hadn't enjoyed sleeping with her. Surely he had found another witch to satisfy his needs. But now that she needed him he was only there because of the pain.

"Hermione? Breakfast is ready." Severus said and knocked at the door.

Quickly Hermione wrapped a towel around herself, just in case he came in. She didn't dare to answer him, because she knew her voice would break.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" Now that was exactly the wrong question, because her eyes started watering again and she couldn't hold back the sobs any longer.

"Are you crying?" He asked, concern filled his voice.

Still she didn't answer.

"That's enough I'll open the door now."

Trying to wipe away the tears didn't help anything when Severus came through the door, because as soon as she saw him, she had to cry even more.

"Why are you crying?" He asked and Hermione thought he looked totally lost.

"I…it's nothing. Just some pregnancy stuff. I'll be ready in a minute." She turned away from him and wanted to drop the towel when she realized he was still standing in the doorway. Blushing she looked at him.

"Is there anything you need?"

_You._

He shook the thought away.

"Sorry, I didn't think it would bother you. After all I've seen you naked before."

He made an attempt to turn around and leave when he suddenly caught the sadness in her eyes.

Sighing he closed the door instead of going out and gave Hermione a hug, which she returned though she was confused about his behavior.

Then again he had been totally out of character for the last few months so apparently there was no need to worry.

This simple little move however made her eyes water all over again.

"You know you can tell me anything." Severus mumbled against her hair.

She nodded.

"Then why won't you tell me the truth?"

For a moment she considered it. She considered telling him that she loved him, telling him that she didn't want him to leave and that she needed him, but she was too much of a coward to do so. Therefore she only told him a part of the truth.

"I'm just feeling so fat. I think I'm even uglier now than ever." She huffed and stroked over her belly. In fact she was embarrassed now by telling him. Blushing she looked to the ground.

"You aren't fat. And most certainly you aren't ugly." Severus said with a calm but serious voice.

Hermione shook her head and snickered as if she didn't believe him.

"You don't have to lie."

"I'm telling you the truth." He assured her, but that was when she suddenly got angry.

"You are not. Do you think I don't notice? There must be a reason why you won't touch me anymore." Hermione hissed and abruptly put her hand over her mouth after realizing what she had just said. She didn't know how it had come out of her mouth or why, but she was certain that it were only the pregnancy hormones. They had to be the reason she behaved so stupid. Crying like crazy and the next minute shouting at Severus just because she felt like it.

Letting her head hang in shame she waited for his reaction and hoped he would agree with her just to forget about it.

"Just so I understand this… You want me to touch you?" He asked and his voice made her shiver.

Not giving him an answer she simply stood in the middle of the bathroom and looked at the ground. Blood rushed into her face and she bit her lip impatiently.

"Maybe like this?" He said and pulled her face up to meet his lips.

Hermione melted into his touch and soon found herself moaning and crying for more. She couldn't think straight anymore and just let her body react. Something that Severus really appreciated.

* * *

Later when they lay in bed and Hermione was taking a nap, he still didn't know why he had had the courage to make a step. A very big and also risky step. He couldn't see how this was going to work out. Was it just sex? Was it a relationship? Where they going to stay together now? Or was he simply interpreting her reaction towards him in a wrong way?

He didn't know, but at the moment he was fine with what they had.

And he hoped it stay would stay like this for a while.

* * *

**AN:** Gosh, this really sucks. I don't know why I couldn't write for such a long time. But I'm sorry and I know the chapter isn't that great.

Still I don't recieve any story alert emails and I don't know how to fix the problem. Do you have an idea ?


	20. the birth

**the birth**

* * *

Severus sighed as he looked at Hermione who had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Tomorrow was the day.

The one he had always feared.

Tomorrow was the due date.

He didn't really know if he should be grateful for the time he had had with her or if he should be sad because soon she wouldn't need him anymore.

Hermione mumbled something in her sleep and hugged the pillow tighter against her.

She was so beautiful when she was asleep. He didn't know how he would live without this sight. Felling the pain in his chest rising he went nearer to Hermione and sat next to her on the ground. They had found out that the pain didn't arrive that fast after they had sex. But now they had been holding back for nearly a week and it got worse with time.

As if sensing his presence Hermione reached out for him and he touched her hand kissing her knuckles. A year ago he couldn't have imagined doing that someday, but now it was the most normal thing to do.

Smiling Hermione opened her eyes. She felt so confident and happy with Severus, that she purposely ignored what was going to happen soon. Of course she still wanted this child, but she also wanted Severus to stay. They had gotten to the relationship-feeling again and she couldn't sacrifice that. But she knew she had to.

"You're awake." He stated and backed away a little bit.

"Our son is hungry." She replied, without even noticing the mistake she had made.

Severus was wise enough not to interpret anything into her words, though. He knew she just stated the fact.

It wasn't like he had any claim over her or their child. He even got paid for their deal.

"Well, then let's get you something. Anything particular you have a craving for?" He teased remembering her love for ice cream with anchovies.

She shook her head smiling and sat up.

"No, today I would simply like a normal sandwich with tuna please."

As she stood up Severus heard her gasp and was by her side as quickly as possible.

"What is it? Are you hurt? Is the baby?"

She shook her head.

"My water broke."

* * *

Severus ran his hand through his hair as he watched his son sleeping.

He was so proud looking at this little creature he had helped to create.

Sure, Nathaniel looked a lot like him. But even though he wasn't such a winner when it came to looks, he at least was healthy.

And that was all that counted.

The birth had gone quite well. There had been no complications and Hermione hadn't gone crazy like the women on TV.

She had fallen asleep soon afterwards and was now still asleep. Poppy had brought Nathaniel into another room, so he wouldn't wake his mother and she could take care of him.

Severus had watched him getting bathed and cleaned, but he had never once touched him. Even though Poppy had asked him to hold him a thousand times.

He simply didn't feel comfortable with holding something so breakable.

And surely it wouldn't be good for him to hold his son and later remember how he felt in his arms when he had to leave.

The sound of the door opening brought Severus back to reality. He turned around half suspecting to see Hermione standing there, but it was Ginny.

"Hi." She whispered, smiling when she saw Nathaniel sleeping.

Severus nodded instead of an answer.

"How are you?" She came nearer.

He shrugged.

"What are your plans now? Are you going to raise him together?" Ginny sat down next to him.

"No. The deal was for me to disappear after the birth."

That wasn't the best idea. She had to come up with a plan.

Ginny sighed, then suddenly her eyes widened.

"Then what are you still doing here?"

Severus frowned and looked slightly offended.

"I thought it would be impolite just to leave."

Ginny shook her head.

"No. I meant…Listen again: What are you still doing here? Why are you here?"

Giving him a meaningful look she stood up.

"I think you know the answer. So finally admit it." She went to the door and smiled at him once more before opening it.

"I know she loves you too."

Closing the door she left Severus alone with his thoughts and problems.

* * *

"Where is he?" Hermione asked when she woke up.

Poppy smiled at her.

"Nathaniel is asleep in the room right next to you. I can bring him to you if you feel strong enough to hold him again."

Hermione shook her head.

"No. Where is Severus?"

Poppy gave her look of sympathy.

"He looked after Nathaniel for a few hours and then said goodbye. He told me he had an appointment. Something very important. He didn't say when he would come back."

Hermione nodded, fighting the tears. Of course he wasn't here anymore. That was the deal. He got his money, she got her son. He wouldn't come back.

Calming herself she closed her eyes again.

"Can I see my son?"

The older witch nodded and went to the next room to fetch the baby.

Meanwhile Hermione tried to think about how her life would go on. Her plan had been to get Severus to fall in love with her, but it hadn't worked and now she was all alone with her baby and a broken heart.

She gave Poppy a small smile when she returned with the infant.

Feeling Nathaniel in her arms made her feel heavenly and content they would have a nice future.


	21. the end

**The end**

* * *

A knock on the door of her rooms made Hermione jump. It was nearly midnight now and Nathaniel was already asleep while she was looking for a bottle of dreamless potion. The problem wasn't that she wasn't exhausted enough to fall asleep; no she fell asleep faster than one could say "butter beer", but her dreams were always plagued by memories of her time with Severus. And when she woke up she still remembered those dreams which meant her days were just as bad and painful as her nights. Therefore she needed this simple potion to exist.

Severus hadn't made an attempt to come back to her or at least visit her. And she hadn't seen him for a week. Nobody seemed to care about his absence. But she did. Even if it was stupid. _Damn_ stupid.

Hesitantly she walked to the front door. Of course she didn't expect an enemy to stand in front of her chambers, she was in Hogwarts after all, but something inside her told her to be careful.

Slowly opening the door she glanced outside and saw Severus standing a few meters away. His back was turned towards her. Apparently he hadn't heard her open the door and was now rethinking his idea to visit her. Running his hand trough his hair he took a deep breath and started to go away, but Hermione let her instinct lead her and opened the door wider to run to him.

"Severus." She said. Her bare feet touched the cold stone and sent chills through her body.

He turned around, his mouth opened as if he were searching for words. When he finally shut it his gaze fell to his hands. An envelope came into Hermione's view as he raised his arm and held it in front of her face. She frowned but took it. Her body trembled and she couldn't tell if it was from the cold air or the tension she felt whenever he was around her. She didn't dare to say something. Didn't want to sound desperate or weak. Surely he wouldn't approve of that. So she bit her lip and he cleared his throat.

"Good night." With that he turned around and left her alone. And she stood in the middle of the corridor. Her body covered with Goosebumps and her fingers clenching around the envelope.

She had never felt this _left alone_.

* * *

The envelope, how she found out later, had a check in it. A rather big one with a large sum of money. The sum of money she had paid him to get her pregnant. And that was the point where she got angry.

"What is the meaning of this Severus. I want an explanation. NOW!" Hermione shouted when she entered his chambers. She had been surprised he hadn't changed his password. He had always been so careful with things like this. But apparently he had changed.

"I don't know what you are talking about, but if you want to we can sit down and discuss it. Just do me the favor and stop screaming. I think my ears are bleeding already." He replied and went from the kitchen counter to the sofa.

Hermione didn't make an attempt to sit down too; she simply stood in front of him and threw the check in front of his feet.

"I want an explanation." She said with a low voice.

"What do you want to know exactly?" He asked, but didn't look at the check.

"Oh, come on. You know exactly what I want to know. You give me a check with the exact sum I paid you for Nathaniel and you think I don't notice? What is this about? Why give it back?"

She folded her hands in front of her breasts and waited for an answer.

"I don't want to get paid for…it. So it's just… I want you to have it. You need it for you and the baby." He said but didn't look at her directly.

Hermione calmed a little bit.

"So it's just an act of kindness. This is not about you wanting Nathaniel now suddenly and trying to steal him away from me?"

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"Wouldn't dream about it."

"Okay, sorry about screaming at you." Suddenly she was nervous.

"You know if you want to be a part of his life I've nothing against it. I just feared…"

"I would take him away from you." Severus finished and she nodded.

"Don't worry about it."

She turned to leave again though it felt wrong.

"Wait." His voice sounded hoarse. "I hate this."

It was the first time he actually said what he felt and Hermione was so shocked that she stopped walking and turned around to have a better look at him.

"I hate that we act like nothing happened between us. You know a while ago I really tried to talk myself into believing you didn't care for me, but considering everything you've done, it's the only logical explanation. Now that I figured that out you don't have to jump into my arms or anything. I'm not expecting you to live with me or even like me, but if you ever felt something for me I would like to know. Just one word, so I can go on in peace and not twist my brain because I don't know for sure."

He looked pleading at her and she felt cold, almost like you feel before you faint. Her mind was arguing with her heart at the moment. Did she want to give them a chance? Maybe it would be like the last weeks of the pregnancy. Maybe they could really have a future together. This was not only about her but also about Nathaniel. He needed a father.

When she didn't say anything, Severus hung his head. He was wrong. Of course he was. He had never been right when it came to relationships. Something always went wrong.

"Yes." Hermione suddenly said and a smile crept on her face. It felt good to say what she had kept inside her for so long.

"What?" Severus froze.

Hermione gave him a radiant smile.

"I felt something for you after we came back and I was so angry at you for being an ass I simply made a plan more slytherin than I ever thought I could. I talked you into being my sperm donator because I thought with time you would fall for me and want to be a part of Nathaniel's life."

Severus raised an eyebrow. Hermione had wanted this from the start?

Then he realized something.

"You tricked me into sleeping with you?"

Hermione gasped.

"How dare you! Of course I didn't. The medi witches really couldn't help me. That evening I visited you wasn't a show. There was just no one else I wanted to talk to. "

Severus nodded slowly then made a motion for her to go on. She cleared her throat.

"Well, after the months I spend with you, I realized my plan had backfired. I was already in love with you when I found out I was pregnant."

Severus eyes widened.

"That's the reason you didn't tell me right away, true?"

Hermione gasped. "You knew I was pregnant? Why didn't you say something?"

Severus shrugged. "I liked spending time with you. You were not only my lover, but my friend."

"I know what you mean." Hermione smiled at him again.

"You said you were in love with me. Do you still feel that way?"

She blushed and that was answer enough for him.

"I love you, too." He said and was amazed by how easily it came from his lips.

He stood up and took her hand.

"I… made some changes, when I was absent."

He glanced at her and felt confident when she smiled back.

"If you still believe we could have this future together maybe you would like to see what I changed."

Hermione frowned but followed when Severus led her to his potion lab. He opened the door with a quick motion of his wand and let her go in first.

Looking around at first she didn't see anything and then she realized it looked exactly like in the future.

* * *

**AN:** The Epilogue comes soon. I'm sorry for leaving you hanging for so long, but I'm going to work on my stories now.

Thanks for reading, Ace


	22. the epilogue

**The epilogue**

* * *

"Severus, what are you doing here? You know it's forbidden to meet the night before the wedding!" Hermione exclaimed when she saw her husband entering her chambers.

"Calm down, darling. It's only the magical ceremony. We are after all already married, so stop being childish." He told her and sat down next to her on the sofa. One arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"What are you doing here anyway? Got bored alone?" She smiled at him seductively and then stood up.

"Hey, you can't tease your man like this and then walk away." He said and she could have sworn he had pouted.

"Well you know the rules. No sex in the night before the wedding. That's so easy to remember even an old man like you should be able to."

Severus chuckled. "You're so going to pay for that tomorrow night."

Hermione smiled back at him.

"Maybe, but I don't mind _paying_. So…how about we go for a walk?"

* * *

They made their way to the lake and enjoyed the quiet night.

And it didn't take long until Severus couldn't hold back any longer.

"Severus, stop that! What if someone sees us?" Hermione said and tried to push him away.

But her husband kept his hand on her hip and pulled her near him.

"It's dark, luv. No one will see us. We are alone." He said and took her face in both hands.

Then he leaned down and kissed her and she responded with the same enthusiasm he held within him.

"Are you afraid someone will catch us?" He whispered and his eyes motioned to place where they knew their younger selves sat.

"Well…you have to admit it would be awkward." She said and leaned against him. "I shouldn't be here and you know it."

Her husband smirked.

"Well I shouldn't be here either, but I guess it will take a while until they start to miss us."

"Yeah, I hope so. I don't want to explain where I was." Hermione answered.

"Come on. Let us go a little bit further before we go to our rooms." Severus suggested and together they walked away.


End file.
